


Snow

by Sonamyluffer101



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphys - Freeform, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Puns, Character Death, Cunnilingus, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Genocide, Heavy Angst, Hurts So Good, Manipulation, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Overprotective, Overprotective Sans, Papyrus - Freeform, Sans - Freeform, Smut, Undyne - Freeform, Yandere, Yandere Sans, You know how genocide works, chara, im so sorry, puns, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-07 14:37:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14673180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamyluffer101/pseuds/Sonamyluffer101
Summary: SNOWverb1.snow falls."it's not snowing so heavily now"2.mislead or charm (someone) with elaborate and insincere words....What really makes more sense?A world filled with talking skeletons, goats, and magic…...Or a sick girl in a mental hospital?





	1. *Introduction*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***
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> Smut in first chapter. This is just the introduction, and just a warning, I probably won't be posting anymore chapters until my other story is finished.
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> **This story will be heavily angsty, so I suggest you take the warning**
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> **Gore level: None**
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> **Kill count: 0**

Falling into a hole underground sounded bad, you knew that, but… It was pretty much heaven under the earth for you.

 

It was terrifying at first. You were expecting just a giant pit, surrounded by walls of dirt, but it was nothing like that. If you had to think of one word to describe what it looked like, it would be a kingdom. You were taken through a castle-like place, until you reached a tiny house… and that was where you lived for a while, with a goat... sounds like a fairy tale, right? That was the problem. You felt like you were going insane for a while… and you also felt trapped. The people, the scenery… you loved everybody you had met, sure, but… you got bored. Felt like you were in captivity. You wanted to see what else this magical place had to offer, outside of the doors. If there was a kingdom, then there had to be more, right? People to serve it?

 

...You were wrong, anyways. It wasn’t a kingdom, even though Toriel _was_ technically a queen. It was just her safe haven… her home. You learned all of this later on, so… you were getting ahead of yourself.

 

But you were right about one thing. There was more beyond her home… a beautiful, snowy village, right outside.

 

_And that was where you met him._

 

He was terrifying to you, at first. Intimidating in every sense of the word. He approached you, and all you could feel was fear as you stared into those black holes in his face. He stood up straight, and he held his hands in his pockets, his gaze seeming to pierce through you.

 

He asked you to shake his hand… and when you did, you were shocked.

 

Both physically, _and_ emotionally, that is.

 

He showed you the joy buzzer on his hand, laughing the whole time. He was in awe of the fact that you were human, because apparently they didn’t get many of those… guess not all humans were morons like you and didn’t fall through holes in the earth.

 

You fell pretty hard, pretty quickly for this guy. He was everything you liked, really… he was funny, charming when needed, and really had an amazing personality if you looked past his depression. He was apathetic most of the time, but when he really needed to, he cared about shit, and was always there to listen to you if you needed to vent to somebody.

 

...You started dating pretty gradually. Started with small group things… his brother would come, and he would bring his best friend, Undyne. You would all hang out and eat on the couch while watching a movie, or all go out to Grillby’s, (much to Papyrus’s displeasure), or even just go for walks. But soon after, it turned into you and Sans just hanging out, alone. Usually just watching movies… but he would let you hang out in his room, occasionally. Papyrus had informed you that it was a special thing, and that not many people were allowed in there, so you were grateful.

 

He soon became your best friend. It was never a set thing, it just kinda happened, and everybody knew about it. You were hardly ever seen without each other, aside from when either of you were working. You at the shop, or him at his sentry stations...

 

...And then one day, he actually asked you out.

 

_You were at Grillby’s, eating a burger, while he munched on some fries. You knew you had ketchup and other shit all over your face as you continued to eat and joke with Sans, but you just didn’t care. You were so close and comfortable with him that it didn’t matter… but afterwards, you really wished you had a cleaner face during such a special moment._

 

_“...knock knock,” he said, as you stuffed your face, and he chewed on some of his french fries. He doused them with an ungodly amount of ketchup, so you were simultaneously impressed and sickened by it._

 

_“...Whosh ere?” You asked him, your mouth full, still chewing your food while trying to answer his joke. You know it was improper and no where close to being ladylike, but… eh, fuck it. If he didn’t like you at your worst, he didn't deserve you at your best._

 

_“...disguise,” he replied, eating another one of his french fries. How he managed not to get any ketchup on his face, was beyond you._

 

_“Dishguys who?” You asked, finally swallowing after you responded._

 

_“dishguys your boyfriend,” he told you, finishing the joke, while also mocking the way you had pronounced disguise._

 

_You blinked, and looked him over, before putting your burger back down on your plate. You didn't really get the joke… but it made you blush, because really, you kind of wished he was. And looking at that big smile on his face, made it even worse… you wished you could lean over  the table and just kiss his stupid, grinning, cocky face._

 

_“...Good joke,” you muttered softly, picking up your napkin and wiping some of the food off of your face. You looked like a hot mess._

 

_“...not a joke,” he assured you, handing you his napkin, knowing you would need it more than he would._

 

_You used it to wipe your face, while you looked at him skeptically. “...What do you mean?”_

 

_He chuckled, in that iconic way he always had. It was such a Sans laugh, and that was really the only way you could ever describe it. “i’m asking you out, y/n.”_

 

_“...Y-You are?” You asked, in disbelief. If this was a prank, then you really weren’t going to be happy. You might even have cried._

 

_“yep,” he confirmed, voice lazy, but still happy. You stole a french fry asa he spoke, and popped it into your mouth, cringing a bit internally at the obscene amount of ketchup on the single strand of potato._

 

_“...O-Okay,” you agreed, gently, watching as he ate a fry of his own._

 

_“...okay?” He asked, smirking even wider than before, somehow._

 

_“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, taking another bite of your burger._

 

The relationship started then, and it was a great one. You spent almost everyday together, unless your work schedules forbid it. You would spend your days pretty much the same as before. Dating your best friend was easy, in your experience… just stay as you were, only add more flirting and kissing… and cuddling and hugging.

 

Until it became more serious…

 

You still remembered your first time with him. It happened completely on accident, and neither one of you had planned it. Hell, you were still a _virgin_ when it happened, so you really weren’t expecting to sleep with him so early. It had only been about a month in, when he asked you to sleepover his house.

 

It wasn’t your first time sleeping over, just… first time since you had started dating. He said you would be watching movies, and eating snacks, and cuddling… sex wasn’t necessarily planned for the night.

 

_You walked to his house, pillow and backpack in hand. It was filled with clothes and your toothbrush, along with other miscellaneous things you had decided you wanted to bring with you to your boyfriends house for the night._

 

_You knocked on the door upon arrival, feeling super excited. You had always secretly wondered what it was like to fall asleep cuddling somebody… was it really better than falling asleep alone? Did it really reduce depression?_

 

_Guess you were about to find out._

 

_Sans answered the door, a big goofy smile on his face. The exact one you fell in love with._

 

_“Hey!” You greeted cheerfully, happy to see him after a long day. You had been texting, but it was always so much better to see his face._

 

_“hey,” he greeted back, lazily, shoving his hands in his pockets, “ready?”_

 

_You nodded and showed him your backpack and pillow, your grin never falling. You were all set… and probably had more than you actually needed, but hey, you’d rather be prepared than not have what you needed!_

 

_He opened the door some more, and allowed you to step into the house. Papyrus had been having a sleepover with Undyne, so he couldn't join you, but that was fine. Alone time was always fun with Sans. filled with cuddling and talking, and mostly sleeping. You took your shoes off upon entering, and your eyes were immediately drawn to the coffee table in front of the couch. On top of it were at least ten movies, all DVD’s, and a bunch of snack foods, all of different varieties, along with drinks._

 

_You already knew this was going to be a fun night!_

 

_“I’m gonna go change into my pajamas,” you told him, bag still in hand, but you set your pillow down on the couch._

 

_“okay,” he agreed, plopping down on the couch, next to your pillow, “i’ll put a movie on.”_

 

_You gave him a smile, and nodded before running up the stairs, and into Sans’s bedroom. You shut and locked the door before opening your bag and pulling out your pajamas. You slipped them on after stripping down, and then ran back downstairs where you found him laying down on the couch, a movie already popped in, with the title screen on the TV. You smiled and layed down in front of him, before he pulled you closer and spooned you._

 

_You let out a happy sigh and watched as he hit play on the remote._

 

_The movie was pretty boring… an old Disney one that you had seen probably a thousand times on the surface. It seemed to drag on, but, having Sans pressed against you from behind made it bearable._

 

_It eventually ended, and Sans kissed the back of your head before shifting a bit and sitting up._

 

_“wanna pick the next one?”_

 

_“Sure, okay!”_

 

_You stood up and picked up a movie… there was no name on the front, but hey, none of the other ones really caught your interest, so might as well give it a shot. You put it into the DVD player and pressed play before laying back down against him and getting comfortable._

 

_The movie seemed to be an old one… maybe from the late nineties, but it wasn’t bad. A sappy romance, but still bearable. The plot wasn’t super cliche, but it was kind or predictable._

 

_...Until a sex scene started playing, loudly._

 

_“...What,” you asked, caught completely off guard. You had been half asleep and honestly weren't paying too much attention until you heard a loud moan._

 

_He chuckled a bit, seeming to be completely unaffected by this._

 

_...How had he kept so calm!?_

 

_“...that’s a penis,” he pointed out, casually, causing your face to heat up._

 

_You covered your eyes quickly, to preserve your innocence, or at least what was left of it._

 

_But he moved your hands, and laughed, as he made you watch, but jokes on him, because you just closed your eyes!_

 

_“really not a big deal,” he whispered into your ear, his breath making the hair on the back of your neck stand up, “...we’re not kids.”_

 

_...You slowly opened your eyes, and looked at the screen, pretty much instantly regretting your choice. The man wasn’t even attractive, so you didn’t know why he was casted!?_

 

_“...see? not a big deal,” he assured you, watching from behind you._

 

_As soon as he said it, the lady on screen moaned loudly, making you feel really uncomfortable. Where the fuck did he find this? Sans chuckled again, but… you swear you could feel something poking your ass._

 

_...Did he have a boner?_

 

_….You gently grinded back against him, making it seem like you were just shifting to get comfortable, and you felt victorious when he let out a low groaning sound._

 

_That was much better than any of the noises on tv._

 

_You wiggled a bit more, but he held you still against him, a low growl emitting from his chest._

 

_“...cheeky,” he purred in your ear, gently grinding back against you, causing you to moan softly. You had never considered yourself vocal before, but… apparently you could be._

 

_He kissed the back of your head, and rubbed your stomach. “...turn the movie off.”_

 

_You felt your body heat up as you lifted the remote and turned the television off. He slowly stood up, and offered his hand to you, which you gladly took, and he pulled you up off of the couch. He led you up the stairs, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest._

 

_You were nervous, but also excited._

 

_He led you into his room, and shut the door slowly, before locking it and then leaning against it. He maintained eye contact with you as he spoke._

 

_“...you can say no.”_

 

_“...I-I don’t want to.”_

 

_The second you confirmed it, was the same second he pressed your lips against his boney ones. He pulled you to him gently by the back of your head, and kissed you deeply. He pulled back momentarily, and lifted your shirt off of your body slowly, before kissing you again, and then examining your body._

 

_He looked at you, like he was looking at a precious gem. It made you feel so important… like you actually mattered, to somebody._

 

_He gently held your boobs, before squeezing, like he was testing the waters, and trying to understand your anatomy._

 

_You gasped when he suddenly let go and fell to his knees, before kissing your thigh, gently. He slowly pulled your pants down, and you gasped as you held onto his skull. You felt your entire face go pink a he kissed you, right on your clit._

 

_He let his tongue sneak out, and you moaned when he licked your clit._

 

It didn’t take long before you both ended up on the bed… him above you, _inside_ of you. He took your virginity, and told you he _loved_ you that night.

 

_“i-i love you,” he told you, as he finally bottomed out, inside of you._

 

_“...I-I love you too!” You exclaimed, not expecting him to be the first to say it..._

 

_But you were happy._

 

Your relationship went strong for a long time. You never grew bored, and you never really struggled through things, and if you did, you easily fixed it.

 

_...Until the day she manipulated your mind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't perfect, and is a bit messy, but here we go.
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> [My Tumblr.](https://skelesansation.tumblr.com/)


	2. Nightmare.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess I'm not waiting for Crave to be over first. Here ya go.
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> It's beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Gore level: None**
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> **Kill count: 0**
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> Thank you guys for the support so far. Wasn't sure how this story was gonna do, to be honest.

“...Hey, Sans? You like dates, right?” You asked him, as you sat on the couch with him, in his house. Papyrus had stepped out, so you used this opportunity for cuddling, since whenever you tried to cuddle while Papyrus was around, he uh… was always  _ insistent _ on joining. You were pressed against him with your limbs intertwined, as a stupid Mettaton rerun played on the television. He was entertaining at first, but got pretty boring and narcissistic, quickly.

 

“...more into  _ raisins. _ ” He told you, giving you a wink. You always found his puns somewhat charming, especially when he told them around Papyrus. He would get so mad, and they would go back and forth… it was kind of adorable.

 

You chuckled softly, leaning into him a little more. It was amazing to you how comfortable a  _ skeleton _ could actually be. You would expect a bunch of things poking you as you leaned on him, but no. It was as if there were invisible skin on him… soft, and cushiony. You weren’t sure whether he did it on purpose or not, but you found it cool, nonetheless. 

 

“...Heh… do you?”

 

“...i mean… we’ve been on a few dates. they’re always fun, so yeah. was actually gonna ask you to go to grillby’s tonight, with me,” he told you, with that smile you loved so,  _ so _ much, “...really craving a burger.”

 

He was always craving burgers. Burgers or fries… never anything else. You tried to get him to eat healthier, like that time you made a chicken caesar salad, but all he did was pick out the chicken and the cheese, and  _ doused _ it in an ungodly amount of ketchup. It was pretty gross, but fascinating to watch.

 

Grillby’s sounded great, really. It always sounded nice, but… it was getting pretty repetitive. 

 

“...I’ve been wanting to go somewhere now, for a while. Somewhere I haven’t been.” You hinted to him, not wanting to tell him head on that you wanted to leave Snowdin.

 

You had tried asking him before, about venturing into Waterfall, but he never caved. He always said it was too dangerous, and that people who didn’t already know and care for you posed as a threat. Even Undyne wanted to kill you for some time, to steal your soul… so you knew where he was coming from, but… you weren’t a caged animal. You wanted to see the world… to see everything around the Underground, and to experience all of its beauty.

 

You managed to win Undyne over when she wanted to kill you and steal your soul, so you were pretty confident you could do it again, to any monster out there. Might pose as a challenge, but you were up for it! You could handle it!

 

“we could go visit my favorite hidden are.” Sans offered, with a soft yawn. He probably wanted to take a nap… but what else was new.  He was the laziest person you had ever met… but for some reason, it never annoyed you. He was still the best.

 

...It was now or never. You had to just… nip it at the bud, and spit it out. Tell him what you wanted, and that you wanted it now. You weren’t a child, anyways! You could take care of yourself out there, and even if you couldn’t it didn’t matter! You had him to protect you.

 

“...Heywhataboutwaterfall?” You asked him, quickly, so you didn’t pussy out on yourself. 

 

You made sure to keep your eyes on him, so you didn’t miss his reaction, but… there wasn’t one. He just continued to look at you, with his same wonderful smile… but his expression did seem to soften, the slightest bit. Almost like… he felt sorry for you. Like he pitied you, and your situation.

 

It made you feel kind of small.

 

He chuckled a bit, his voice deep and gritty. Kind of reminded you of sand in an hourglass. “...you’re not going to waterfall, baby girl.”

 

...That was expected, and you didn’t plan to give up yet. You were expecting an argument, but you were just hoping it didn't get out of hand. The last thing you wanted, was to end up full out fighting with Sans.

 

“...Papyrus said it’s the most beautiful place Undergoun-”

 

“you’re the most beautiful thing underground.” He cut you off, brushing some hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. You felt your face heat up, at the compliment, feeling slightly embarrassed. He could be so sweet at times, but… others he could be a complete nightmare. He was lazy, and you had to pick up after him often… he was lucky you loved him so much, because otherwise you wouldn’t even bother, and you would let Papyrus yell at him.

 

You rolled your eyes, unable to stop the smile that grew on your face. “I was saying, wouldn’t Waterfall be perfect? It’s so beautiful, and hey, maybe we could even go in the wat-”

 

“let’s just stay home and cuddle… i can get grillby’s and bring it home, and mettaton has a new special playing tonight.” He cut you off again, and you tried not to be upset by it. You knew he was just trying to protect you… but being overprotective could definitely be a bad thing at times. The biggest issue here, was you didn't  _ need _ him to protect you. You could do it yourself, perfectly fine.

 

You weren’t a little kid.

 

“...I wanna go outside of Snowdin.” You told him, sternly. Well, as sternly as you could manage, which wasn’t very.

 

“no.” His answer was instant, and stern, much more stern that you could have possibly  _ hoped _ to sound. His dominating nature towering over your submissive one, easily. It made you feel so  _ tiny. _ As if you were a child…

 

But he couldn’t tell you what to do!

 

“Why not?” You asked, probably a lot more snippy than you intended to sound. Your frustrations were starting to bubble to the surface, but you were doing your best to try and contain them. You knew ending in a shouting match wouldn’t help in this case… it would just add more tension, and more frustration, and you would never end up getting what you wanted in the end.

 

“it’s dangerous,” he started, bringing out his stern voice, the one that was deeper and silkier, instead of being gritty like sand, becoming smooth glass, “you know that. if anybody sees you who doesn’t know who you are, they  _ will _ kill you on sight.”

 

You weren’t afraid of anybody seeing you. You knew how to protect yourself and  _ he _ could protect you, too!

 

“Not if you’re with me!” You exclaimed,not  realising you had raised your voice until after it had already came out.

 

You just needed to keep calm, and maybe, just  _ maybe _ you would get what you wanted today.

 

“i said no.” He told you, his voice hinting that his word was final. But were you going to keep pushing?

 

Of course you were.

 

“I just want to leave Snowdin!”

 

“i said no, y/n.”

 

Oh. Playing the  _ y/n _ card. Something he only did when he was really getting frustrated with you, which wasn’t very often, surprisingly. You found yourself to be quite annoying, but apparently he disagreed… except for moments like these. His patience would die out quickly, if you kept pushing him when it came to your  _ “well being”. _

 

“Why don’t you ever let me go anywhere now!?”

 

“i already told you.”

 

“Nowhere is ever one-hundred percent safe!” You argued, already knowing at this point it was a losing battle, but your pride refused to let you cave.

 

“stop yelling. we’re having a conversation.” He told you, his voice condescending. You could feel the anger boiling inside of you, threatening to spill over.

 

“...Fuck you!” You exclaimed, standing up and getting your shoes on. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t stop you, because he knew you wouldn’t leave Snowdin. Because for some fucking reason, you were like a loyal fucking puppydog to him!

 

You walked outside, and slammed the door shut before starting towards the river. 

 

It was your favorite place in Snowdin, and so far, the entire Underground. It reminded you a lot of the small river that you had behind your house, growing up. It was almost like a safe place, really. Felt the most like home, besides from when you were with Sans. But you were pissed at him, so… this was second best.

 

You walked to the edge of the river, and sat down by the ledge, not too close. It was always so calming… the sound of the water hitting the rocks, and the waves crashing into each other lightly. 

 

You realised how similar the Underground could be to the surface at times. Monsters and humans really were never that different, the only real differences being their use of magic and their appearances… but they had the same feelings, and the same intentions as humans did. They had never meant to hurt anybody in the first place, so you never understood why any of this needed to happen. The war wasn’t even necessary.

 

You wondered at times, what it would be like if Sans had been on the surface with you, instead of you falling down here. Would he even like you? Was he only with you because of convenience? It wasn’t like he could pick any human he wanted, when you were the only option down here. Maybe he felt obligated.

 

Maybe you really weren’t as special as he made you seem.

 

But fate had a funny way of playing out, so… if destiny was real, then maybe you would have ended up together no matter where you were. That was a more comforting thought, so you decided to go with that one.

 

Sans was an amazing person… perfect, really, in your opinion. 

 

...You really didn’t wanna fight with him anymore.

 

Maybe you should just… go back and apologize?

 

...Yeah.

 

You decided to swallow your pride as you stood up. He was just trying to keep you safe, like a good boyfriend. He didn’t want you to get hurt… you just needed to take a second and look at it from his perspective. He really wasn't being that much of an asshole. He was doing what he thought was best… and really, maybe it was best. You wouldn’t wanna hurt anybody, and you knew if you had to, then you  _ had _ to.

 

For your own safety.

 

You turned around, and started to leave the river area, when you suddenly heard weeping from behind one of the big rocks.

 

You froze in your tracks and shuffled your feet slightly, to walk over in the direction of the sobbing. It was most likely one of the Snowdin kids, crying over an argument with a friend, or over losing a game. The children weren’t necessarily supposed to go near the river, but not all of the kids listened to their parents. There had been a few times, where this exact scenario had happened, and you had brought the child back to the village, and never said a word about where they actually went, usually lying and saying you found them crying by the Christmas tree or behind Grillby’s.

 

“Hello?” You called out softly, in a voice you usually used for kids, as you went behind a rock.

 

You  _ did _ find a kid, only… they seemed to be a teenager, instead. They wore a striped sweater, and some back pants. They had brown shoulder length hair, which seemed to be a complete mess… did their parents even take care of them? You hated to be accusing, but… it definitely looked like neglect to you.

 

“...What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked, rushing over and crouching down with the child, from behind. You were about to reach out and rub their back, but…

 

They whipped their head around, and the look on their face held pure psychopathy.

 

You felt your entire body go stiff, and felt your blood freeze. You had never been so terrified of a child in your entire life. What was also terrifying, was the fact that it looked so human, yet… so  _ evil. _

 

“...S-SANS!” You screamed your boyfriend's name out of instinct, craving his presence to make you feel safe again. You needed your safety blanket at all times, and being out here alone seemed scary for the first time in a long time.

 

Maybe leaving Snowdin  _ was _ a bad idea.

 

“Shhh!” The crazy child shushed you, covering your mouth with her hand. It smelled like wildflowers and metal, and it made your stomach turn.

 

You stopped yelling, but you knew your expression stayed the same. Holding intense fear, and anticipation. You had a feeling something very bad was about to happen.

 

“...Y/n.” They said your name, pulling their hand back, and making every hair on your body stand up. How the fuck did this kid know your name? You took a deep breath and forced yourself to relax a little… it was a small village, and you were a  _ human _ for fucks sake. Of course everybody would know your name here. Word traveled fast.

 

“...You don’t belong here!” The kid yelled at you, voice echoing in a way that sounded demonic. It was indescribable really, but that was the best way you could manage.

 

_ It just wasn’t human. _

 

You felt somewhat offended by their statement, despite their tone of voice. What was that supposed to mean? Were they racist, or something? “What do you mean?”

 

“This isn’t real!” They screamed in your face, causing you to jump back a few feet. Their breathe had smelled like a mixture of bleach and blood… it made you wanna vomit, so fucking bad. You held back a gag, afraid of offending them, and forced yourself to calm down.

 

They were just a kid after all… what could they  _ really _ do to you?

 

“What the fuck are you talking about!? Where the hell are your parents!?” You yelled at the kid, remembering you were an  _ adult. _ You weren’t about to get bullied by a fucking child. You got it enough from unapproving people down here. Some of the monsters  found it really disgusting that you were with Sans, and that you were a human in general. You knew it was just because of how humans treated monsters on the surface, but still… it hurt.

 

“...Where are yours?” They asked, voice mocking and childish, but… also like they were hinting at something.

 

“...Back home where I left them.”

 

Their smile seemed to grow even wider, almost reaching their eyes. You almost screamed again, when they started laughing.  _ Cackling. _ Like what you just said was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their entire life.

 

“What the fuck are you laughing at!?”

 

This only seemed to make them laugh harder. You were about to storm away, realizing you really didn’t have to take that, but… when you blinked, they had vanished.

 

Nowhere to be seen.

 

_ …What the fuck. _

 

You felt so sick all of a sudden. A cold sweat had washed over you, and you felt  _ disgusting. _ Your head started pounding, and you felt  _ dizzy _ as all fuck, like you had just been on a rollercoaster with a bunch of loop-de-loops. You fell to your knees, and clutched at your head, a sudden  _ loud _ ringing pounding in your ears… you screamed Sans’s name, and then… everything flashed white.

 

...When you came to, the first thing you saw were fluorescent lights, blinding you.

 

You felt a bed underneath you, firm and uncomfortable… very used and worn out, but still functioning. You quickly sat up and looked around, alarmed by the sudden change of scenery. You were expecting to be back in Sans’s bed, probably on a pile of clothes, but no…

 

You froze.

 

…

 

“...M-Mom?”

 

Your mother was at your side, as you lied on the bed. The more you examined the room, the more you realised it was a hospital room.

 

_ What the fuck was going on? _

 

“...Honey!” Your mother exclaimed, apparently shocked to see you awake. 

 

You were shocked to see  _ her _ at all.

 

She hugged you tightly, a hug you were familiar with. Warm, and smelled of a nostalgic perfume. Comforting.

 

“...What’s… Where’s Sans?” You asked, too confused and kind of terrified to hug her back.

 

None of this made sense.

 

“...Honey. Honey, we’ve been over this.” She told you, gently, as she softly pulled away and kept a small grip on your shoulders.

 

“...Over what?” you asked, looking around, wondering why the fuck you were  _ here. _ How did you ever get above ground!? “What’s going on!?”

 

“...Repeat after me sweetheart. Sans. Isn’t. Real.”

 

...What?

 

What the fuck was she talking about!? Of course he was!  _ She _ wasn’t real if anything! It… it was just a bad fucking dream. You would wake up soon.

 

“What are you talking about!? Yes he is!”

 

“...The Underground. It isn’t real. It’s a magical place you made up in your mind to escape the real world. You have a special type of schizophrenia, and your mind is able to do these things.” She explained to you, gently, with that look she would always give you whenever she had to tell you a relative died, or that a pet ran away.

 

“...I don’t understand!?” You screamed, feeling tears well up in your eyes. There was no way in  _ hell _ she was telling the truth!

 

It had to be real. You were  _ just _ there! You were just cuddling with Sans, and watching shitty movies! He was always so warm pressed against you… he had to be real! He felt  _ so _ real!

 

“...Sweetheart. Talking skeletons?  Dogs and  _ fish? _ Think about it for a second…  _ really _ think about it.”

 

...You did. It really did all seem ridiculous. Talking skeletons and goats… that wasn’t… those were  _ fairytale _ things. Things you made up in your head because you hated real life… you were so bored your mind had to build a perfect world, just for you to live in it…

 

... _ you were really crazy!? _

 

You had been suspicious when you first fell, yeah, because it all seemed too magical to be real, but… you accepted it!? Why was this happening!?

 

_ Why now, when everything was so perfect!? _

 

“...B-But…” You tried to think of a valid reason why she was wrong but… there really wasn’t one.

 

...You were just insane.

 

“...It’s okay, sweetie. We can beat this.”

 

As she spoke… you felt yourself becoming dizzy again. Your head started to pound  _ so _ hard, and you felt  _ nauseous. _ You held your head and screeched in pure agony.

 

“...M-Mom!?” You exclaimed, fear setting in. You couldn’t go back!? It wasn’t real!

 

“...Honey, it’s okay!” she exclaimed, holding your hand, “Try to fight it!”

 

You screamed, confused and terrified. How were you supposed to fight  _ this _ pain!?

 

Everything went white again…

 

And Sans was shaking you awake.

 

“y/n! wake up!”

 

You screamed softly as your eyes shot open, and you clutched to the front of his shirt.

 

...He was real. Real.

 

He loved you, and he was real.

 

“...hey. shhh. deep breaths, baby girl.” He instructed you, running his phalanges through your hair, soothingly.

 

“...I-I have… Y-You’re… this isn’t!?” You exclaimed, completely hysterical, before burying your face into his shirt and sniffing. Ketchup and musk… somehow your favorite smell.

 

...Was real.

 

Real.

 

“...shhh, baby… you passed out. i think you had a nightmare.” He told you as he picked you up and pulled you against him, sitting on a rock and trying to soothe you.

 

You sobbed softly, and held onto him so tightly. He was so warm… felt so  _ alive. _

 

“...i’m sorry i was so harsh earlier… let’s just go home, alright?”

 

...Home.

 

Yeah, home. You nodded, finding comfort in the word.

 

...A nightmare.

  
You wanted to believe that, but… it felt so real. If anything, your time down  _ here _ felt like a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have any requests?
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr.](https://skelesansation.tumblr.com/)


	3. Fix me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Gore Level: None**
> 
> **Kill count: 0**
> 
> Explaining things to Sans makes you question your sanity even further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Really, how can somebody be so _perfect,_ and somehow still be real?
> 
> ...They couldn't. Right?

You almost had a panic attack when you woke up blinded by fluorescent lighting, again. Blinking awake, and trying to shield your eyes with the back of your hand, you slowly sat up before looking around. Your mom was exactly where she was before. Next to you in the small hospital chair, the ones that were always uncomfortable no matter what position you were in, and there was a man wearing a coat that signalled he was a doctor, standing by the door.

 

...You were just in bed with Sans, sleeping. How the  _ fuck _ were you back in this nightmare? He always chased them away.

 

“...Mom.” You said softly, trying not to speak too loud, as to make the pounding headache worse. She gave you a soft, familiar smile, and you felt a scary sense of nostalgia run down your spine, violently.

 

“Hi, sweetheart.” She greeted you, gently grabbing your hand. It reminded you so much of when you were a child… when she would hold your hand while she was teaching you about something, or even scolding you for misbehaving. She ran her fingers through your hair, with her other hand, and it made you uneasy just how  _ real _ that had felt. Dreams… weren’t supposed to feel this real.

 

You could feel  _ so _ much. The hospital gown on your body… the temperature of the room on your skin. Even the heat from the overly bright lights above you. It was all scarily real, to the point it was almost sickening.

 

“You’re doing so well… you’re starting to remember seeing me now, huh?” She asked, signaling to you that you must have been here for a long time. But just how long  _ was _ a long time?

 

“...Yeah. H-How… How long have I been here?” You asked her, playing along with it, whether it was all true, or not. But, you were starting to take notice of how much more real it felt here, compared to how you felt when you were Underground. The Underground was more like a dream then this ever was… this was just  _ scarily _ real.

 

“A while. About three years, now. I can’t wait to take you home, soon!” She told you, trying to be optimistic, despite knowing that information would upset you.  _ Three _ fucking years.

 

“...Th-Three?” You asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. That was exactly how long you had been Underground.

 

Things were starting to make sense, and that really scared you. Putting pieces together only made reality crash down on you harder.

 

“...Yeah. Honey, the doctor here needs to talk to you,” she told you, as she gestured to the doctor by the door that you had taken notice of earlier, “I’ll be right here, but I need you to listen to him. Okay?”

 

“...Okay.” You agreed, voice soft and timid. You were terrified, and you didn’t know how to make the fear go away.

 

She held your hand as the doctor walked over, a soft smile on his face. His exterior seemed friendly, and you knew instantly he wasn't going to be an asshole. That was reassuring… but you knew your mom would have made sure all of your doctors were nice. You had always been a sensitive person. 

 

He took a seat next to your mom, a clipboard in his hand along with a pen in the other, as he started to speak to you. His voice was smooth, and yet somehow gritty when he said certain things. It was kind of beautiful, while at the same time making you uneasy.

 

“Hello, y/n. Good to see you awake.” He greeted, smiling happily. 

 

Upon closer examination, it did seem to be one of those fake doctor smiles. The ones that were too big to be genuine, and that were clearly forced to make the patient feel more comfortable.

 

“...Hi.” You greeted back softly, feeling the urge to hide behind your mother like a small child who was meeting a stranger for the first time.

 

Usually when you met somebody knew, you would have Sans there to hold your hand and reassure you…

 

...You really missed him.

 

“How do you feel right now, upon waking up?” He asked you, his pen hovering right above his clipboard. You knew it was just a pre-printed question, and that he really couldn’t give a fuck about how you felt, mentally or physically. But you were gonna be good… you were gonna answer his questions as he asked them, so you could go home with your mom. And then things would be better again, right?

 

...But would you even see Sans anymore?

 

...You decided to stop thinking about it.

 

“Dizzy.” You told him, truthfully. You still felt light headed and plain awful.

 

You watched as he scribbled away on his clipboard, obviously about your symptoms. Probably both you being dizzy, and your physical appearance and other things he seemed to notice, like you being slightly afraid and uncomfortable. You felt so… off. You didn’t like being examined or evaluated. It made you feel so  _ small,  _ like when you were younger and the adults would talk about you to each other like you weren’t even in the room. It felt  _ bad. _

 

...You just wanted  _ Sans. _

 

“...What’s that for?” You asked, not understanding why he needed a clipboard, or why he needed to write down your symptoms.

 

“Just gonna document everything, so we can figure out exactly what’s happening, and that gives us a better chance to beat this. Sound good?”

 

No. That sounded absolutely  _ awful. _ That would mean no longer seeing Sans, right? That was the last thing you wanted. He was your boyfriend… you loved him more than anything. He was the only person who ever actually loved you, and treated you like a real  _ person. _ No human you knew would ever treat you that good.

 

...But on the other hand, if it was all just your imagination, what was the point? There was no real love… you could find it someday, couldn’t you? Real, genuine love? 

 

Maybe if you looked hard enough, and lowered your standards… yeah.

 

“...Okay.” You agreed softly, willing to listen. That was the least you could do anyways. If they were telling the truth, then you needed to. You could always decide what you wanted to do at a later time… when things made more sense.

 

He smiled again, and looked up at you from his clipboard, meeting your eyes with a gentle gaze. “So, can you tell me what it’s like in there?”

 

“...Snowdin?”

 

He gave you a nod and you had to swallow, hard. How were you supposed to explain it? The only way you could think of was to be vague, since you didn’t exactly want to explain to your mother that you had been fucking a skeleton, so…

 

“...It’s cold. But, I love it there. Sans… makes sure I’m warm. Always.” You told the doctor, voice soft and timid as you explained. You didn’t want to get too graphic, so you hoped that was enough.

 

“...What do you like most about that place?” He asked, after he finished scribbling down your answer, the pen hovering above the paper again, ready to answer the next question.

 

You weren’t exactly sure how to answer that question, really. You loved everything… the food, the atmosphere… the most important thing would probably be your friends of course, and hell, you even cared for the people you hadn’t met yet, and those you hoped to meet someday soon, but… you might not, after this. If this is the truth.

 

...But if it wasn’t, why would it be a constant reoccurring dream? You never had anything happen like this before… it was scary.

 

“...The people.” You decided on, as you looked down and played with the material of your hospital gown. It was kind of itchy and uncomfortable… you wanted your casual clothes back on your body. They felt softer, and much more familiar… comforting.

 

He made a small sound of acknowledgment, and continued to write on his clipboard. With every scratching sound it made, you felt your anxieties grow. What did all of this determine? What was going on!?

 

Why did he need to know these things!?

 

“...Okay. So, I’m gonna need you to listen, and really pay attention. I don’t want your emotions to get the better of you, because this is important, okay?” The doctor asked, putting his pen to the side for a moment, so this must have been pretty important.

 

“...Okay.” You agreed, trying to hide your nerves, which you knew failed. You sounded like an anxious mess.

 

He brought his chair a bit closer, and he leaned towards you a little, before speaking in a soft tone. “...You know how when there’s a … _ problem, _ the best course of action is to dispose of said problem?” He asked, his words making you a bit anxious. Dispose of the problem? Wasn’t… the Underground the problem?

 

...How were you supposed to dispose of it?

 

“...Um… I guess.” You muttered after a moment. You were kind of trying to delay his response… you were afraid of it. Afraid of what he wanted you to do. 

 

“...I’m going to need you to kill everybody, when you go back in.” He said, bluntly, his line of sight not leaving yours.

 

...You felt your entire body freeze up, and a flood of anxiety raced through your veins as if it were replacing your blood all together. His gaze didn’t seem friendly to you anymore, now seeming almost terrifying. He didn’t seem like a good person… he seemed like the devil, now. He just… wanted you to hurt everybody. Wanted you to hurt Sans, and ruin your own life so you didn’t have to!

 

…

 

...You knew that was pretty far fetched.

 

Really, the scariest thing was that this made more sense than the Underground did. Honestly… you were taught from a young age that magic and monsters were all fake… so why would that make more sense than a person being sick in a mental institution?

 

...It didn’t.

 

“...What?” You asked, hoping,  _ praying _ you heard him wrong. Even if it was all true and they were all fake, it… it didn't matter. You loved them, and they were your friends. You couldn’t just  _ kill _ them.

 

...You couldn’t.

 

“If everybody’s gone, the people that are holding you there, then your mind will no longer  _ want _ to be there. The happiness will be gone, and there will be no point for your mind to force you there. You’ll come out… and you’ll have a great shot at a normal life.” The doctor assured you, always making sure his voice sounded gentle. He was clearly trying to be soothing, but he wasn’t. He was literally sitting there and telling you to kill the most precious things in your life, with a perfectly calm expression. That just made his  _ ‘gentle’ _ voice sound eerie to you.

 

“...I-I can’t do that,” you exclaimed, feeling tears well up in your eyes, “I-I can’t!”

 

You felt your mom wraps her arms around you in a tight embrace.

 

_ Warm. Familiar. _

 

“Honey, it’s the only way you’ll get better, and then I can finally take you home.” She told you, trying to be encouraging. But it just wasn’t helping.  _ None _ of it was helping. 

 

You wanted Sans!

 

Thinking about all of the movie nights you had with Sans… and of the puzzles you did with Papyrus… the training you did with Undyne… the time you spent with Toriel.

 

You couldn’t hurt them. They were family.

 

“...Don’t you wanna go home?” Your mom asked you in a soft voice, the kind she would often use when you were crying as a kid, usually over scraping your knee or losing at a video game.

 

You were crying hysterically at this point, but you still managed to nod your head. You wanted to go home. Wanted to see your old cat, and lay in your bed again. Wanted to see the living room, and the kitchen and take a bath in your bathroom again. You had missed all of it, everything back at your home, but… was that really worth all of the lives you would have to take? The love you had grown?

 

What even gave you the  _ right _ to take their lives away!?

 

“...Then it’s all up to you, baby.” She cooed, wiping a few of your tears away.

 

This couldn’t be all up to you! You were terrible at making decisions!

 

...Everything was so perfect Underground, you couldn’t just… you couldn’t-!

 

...Sans was  _ so _ perfect.

 

...Maybe even… too perfect.

 

...Maybe you were just so lonely that your mind thought of the perfect person and then shoved you into your head with him. Maybe you wanted somebody unique and funny, but also lazy, and somehow the perfect lover…?

 

...He was too perfect to be real, wasn’t he?

 

…

 

You could feel yourself falling back under, and it scared the fuck out of you. You started sobbing uncontrollably and clung to your mom tighter, wishing she could save you.

 

But nobody could save you from your own mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

You woke up back in Sans bed, exactly where you remembered falling asleep, wheezing and panting, gasping for air while sobbing uncontrollably. You could barely breathe, and you felt like the walls were closing in. It felt like the entire world was slowly collapsing, because reality was ugly, and this  _ wasn’t _ real!

 

...You knew it was just a panic attack, but it felt much more severe.

 

You felt Sans roll over on your side, now facing you, before sitting up and pulling you against him, and into his chest. He did it wordlessly, running his fingers through your hair for a few moments. This wasn’t the first time you had a panic attack with him, so this was something that he did often when one occured. You had both found that words didn’t help much, but the close contact and the feeling of his pheleges in your hair always helped.

 

After you seemed to calm down a bit, he finally spoke, making sure to use a gentle voice since you were still so vulnerable.

 

**_perfect._ **

 

“...hey. what’s wrong?” He asked, pulling you a bit closer, never ceasing in the comforting gesture of petting your hair.

 

You held on tighter as well, trying to practically  _ fuse _ with him, all while hiccuping and trying to breathe better.

 

“...deep breaths.”  He reminded you gently, kissing the top of your head.

 

**_lies._ **

 

You did as he instructed, taking a few deep breaths as your bottom lip quivered from anxiety and stress. Everything felt so  _ bad. _ Felt like you were crazy, and you didn’t know how to get any better.

 

You felt so trapped.

 

“...what’s wrong, baby girl?” He asked, sounding so concerned. Like a good boyfriend, would…

 

**_fake._ **

 

...Maybe if you actually told him, he could make sense of it. Maybe his explanation would make sense, and maybe he would be able to reassure you. Maybe these were just nightmares, or like… a side effect from some of Muffet's food, or  _ something. _

 

You would cling to any excuse at this point.

 

“...I-I think none of this real!?” You finally managed to sob out after a moment, clinging to his shirt like it was some type of lifeboat. Like it could keep you chained here forever… the smell of his sweat and natural scent could be an anchor, somehow.

 

**_trapped._ **

 

“...what?” He asked, so clearly confused, and so obviously exhausted. You felt so bad having to wake him up with this shit… he didn’t deserve this.

 

_ He wouldn’t deserve any of this. _

 

“...I-I keep having really bad d-dreams! I keep waking up in a hospital surrounded by doctors and my mom and they say I have schizophrenia and all of this i-is just made up!” You sobbed, so hysterical that it was a miracle you were able to spit all of that out.

 

“...what?” He repeated, sitting up a bit more, and pulling you a bit closer, seeming a bit more awake now, based off of his voice, since your face was still buried in his shirt.

 

“A-And it feels  _ so real! _ It all makes so much sense, S-Sans, I’m fucking  _ crazy!” _ You sobbed, no longer calm, even in the slightest. Everything was so messed up and your head wouldn’t stop swimming. You were  _ so _ scared!

 

“...when did this start?” He asked, making you feel a small twinge of relief. If he was asking, then maybe he had some type of way to explain it… maybe this was normal. Maybe it was just from lack of vitamin D or something!?

 

**_insane._ **

 

“...S-Same day we had that argument, and I-I saw that human kid crying by the river!”

 

“...a human kid?” He asked, looking down at you and shifting in a way that made you look up at him. He looked concerned… so concerned that it gave you some hope. Maybe they were tied to this somehow?

 

...And you had forgotten you hadn’t told him about that, yet.

 

“...Y-Yeah. I-I forgot to tell you, they had like, a striped sweater on and acted completely insane.” You told him, managing to calm down somewhat, still clinging to the idea that he had an explanation coming.

 

One that would make you feel  _ so _ much better.

 

**_deranged._ **

 

“...chara.” He muttered softly, causing you to raise your eyebrow. You had never heard that name before… and yet somehow it sounded so familiar?

 

“...Chara?” You repeated, trying the name out on your tongue… it seemed so strange to you. How a name could be so familiar, and yet so  _ new. _ Like there was some type of connection to you from it.

 

...Maybe it was connected to this.

 

**_please._ **

 

You blinked in surprise when he suddenly cupped your face and made you look at him. The look on his face was so serious… it made you feel just as uneasy as it did safer. You knew an explanation was coming… but what if it was bad?

 

“...i’m real, y/n. it’s a really long story, but… she’s fucking  _ evil. _ i promise it’ll be okay, alright? i  _ promise. _ i’ll talk to my friend, she… we’ll get this fixed.” 

 

“...Fixed..?” This all sounded so unreal. Ingenuine for some reason…

 

...Like your mind was trying to find an excuse to keep you held here. And isn't that what your mom was trying to do? Fix you?

 

That made sense, didn’t it? You were trying to beat your disorder so it fought back… of course. That made more sense than this did… and that was the scary part. It was  _ always _ the scary part… you felt like you always knew this was all fake, in the back of your mind. Your brain just pushed those thoughts of doubt to the side, and made you forget. Because how would you  _ not _ question magic? Not question talking goats, and skeletons? 

 

You wouldn’t.

 

...Would you?

 

**_fraud._ **

 

“yeah. i’m sure she can find a way to make it all go away. make it stop.” He assured you, confidentally. 

 

“...Okay.” You agreed, but really you knew… your brain was just trying to find a way to force you into staying, now that you finally had a way out.

 

He kissed you gently, and it just… it felt  _ so _ real… it wasn’t fucking fair.

 

_ Why couldn’t he be real instead!? _

 

You kissed him back deeply, wanting to feel this perfect moment one last time… wanting to remember all of this in the best way. Remember  _ him _ in the best way.

 

_ Your perfect boyfriend. _

 

“...i’ll go see her in the morning, alright? get everything situated so we can put this behind us… right now, we should sleep.” He told you, after he pulled away. You wished he hadn’t… you didn’t want it to end, and you were afraid that might have been your last moment.

 

“...Okay.” You agreed, cuddling back into his chest after he laid down, getting comfortable.

 

...He was so perfect.

 

So unreal.

  
**_plastic._ **   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going through crazy shit in my personal life. Sorry updates are so all over the place.
> 
> Have any requests?;
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr.](https://skelesansation.tumblr.com/)


	4. Strike.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You didn't _want_ to hurt him... but he was the easiest victim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Gore level: Low**
> 
>  
> 
> **Kill count: 1**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This story doesn't seem to have many fans, but I like it!

You were lucky enough to dream peacefully again, after it was over. Properly snuggled up to Sans, you always slept like a rock, feeling like nothing could ever get to you. He was always like a safety blanket to you. Your safe space, where you felt as if nothing could ever harm you, no matter how hard you tried. He loved you, and he would protect you from anything. Even your own mind.

 

_ Right? _

 

Because he was perfect.

 

_...Because you created him. _

 

He was still asleep, snoring quietly while he held your body against his. Even when he was dreaming, he would hold you so close, like you were a body pillow. You didn’t really want him to wake up… you wanted him to sleep forever, right next to you, so neither of you ever had to get up.

 

_ So you never had to face reality. _

 

But of course, he woke up. He blinked a few times, and lazily pulled you closer, like he did every morning. Something you loved and found charming… something your brain would want to happen, of course.

 

Because it wanted you to stay.

 

He looked down at you and kissed your forehead before speaking, his voice cracking from sleep. “...how you feeling?”

 

He always checked on you, because he wanted you to feel safe…

 

_ You wanted him to want you to feel safe. _

 

“...I feel fine.” You lied, easily, not wanting to admit that you felt completely insane. If you told him, he wouldn’t understand. There was no point… he would just try and console you, and even if it worked for a little while, afterwards it would always be bad again. It was going to stay bad until you went home.

 

Until this was all over.

 

“...are you sure?” He asked, clearly not buying it. You were never able to lie to him, really… it was rare you got away with it, and apparently you didn’t have luck on your side this morning… but like hell you were going to admit you felt insane.

 

“Mhm.” You confirmed, trying your absolute best to sound genuine. 

 

“...okay. we’re gonna fix this.” He told you, not pushing any longer, but obviously still worried about you. It meant a lot to you in your heart… until you remembered it was all fake, and it was just your mind trying to keep you happy.

 

“...Yeah.” You agreed, but… he wasn’t going to any part of it. You were going to fix this problem yourself.

 

_ The right way. _

 

You watched as he stood up and grabbed his jacket off of the floor, ignoring the fact he was planning to go out in the same clothes he slept in, and put it on. He turned back to face you afterwards, and gave you a wink. “you’re lucky i love you so much, else i’d be sleepin’ in.”

 

You couldn’t help but smile. Despite the fact he was…  _ imaginary, _ he still felt so real, and he made you feel so beautiful.

 

“...I love you too.”

 

His expression and smile seemed to soften, before he leaned down and placed a soft kiss to your lips. You kissed back, pretty hard… you wanted to try and feel it. How fake he was, but… no. He felt so  _ real. _

 

He pulled back and gently ran his thumb across your cheek, affectionately. His eye lights were soft and hazy… like gentle TV static. “...i’ll be back.” He assured you, moving his hand from your cheek up to your head, where he gently ran his hand through your hair.

 

“...Okay.” You agreed softly, giving him a gentle smile. He gave you one more kiss, and then you watched as he exited the room.

 

You waited for a few moments, before you started to cry, softly.

 

You had already made your mind up, yesterday. You were going to kill somebody you didn’t know very well to start with, so you could slowly ease yourself into it… so many of these people were your friends, and you  _ really _ loved them, so you were dreading this  _ so _ much. Even just killing a stranger felt like the end of the world for you… despite the fact that they weren’t real.

 

You were considering just getting it all over with and killing Sans first, but… you couldn't. It would hurt way too much. You had to get used to it… maybe you could even start feeling numb to it, if you did it enough.

 

...You just wanted to go home.

 

You thought about it, as you stood up from the bed and started to get dressed. What was your real life going to be like, after you beat this? Nobody would ever wanna date somebody who was as crazy as you, or let alone settle down with them. Hell, even if you weren’t crazy, you never saw yourself being that great. You were shocked as hell when Sans first asked you out, and now knowing that he was just in your imagination really put a damper on your self confidence.

 

Nobody ever actually liked you.

 

You never actually dated anybody.

 

...You made your way down to the kitchen after you threw on some comfortable clothes, and looked around first, making sure Papyrus wasn’t home. When you were sure it was clear, you snuck into the knife drawer, and… pulled a small one, out. Not super tiny, but small enough to hide in your pocket.

 

...The more you examined it, the sooner you realized it was the knife Papyrus usually used to cut tomatoes.

 

...Guess it was still going to have red on it..?

 

You brought it over to the sink and washed it off before putting it into your pocket, as if the cleanliness even mattered… they were going to die anyways, so… you doubted it would have any effect, anyways. If they got an infection… why would it matter?

 

...It wouldn’t.

 

You took a few deep breaths and splashed some water on your face, before finally stepping outside. You started to walk to the shop, thinking a Cinnamon Bunny would really calm your nerves, but… when you were almost there, you saw a Snowdrake go around the corner, to the river.

 

...He was so young, and you knew his  _ dad, _ but…

 

...You followed him.

 

You turned the corner, and saw him sitting in the snow, sulking. You assumed he was just angry over a fight with his dad… probably over his jokes or something, but… you still felt bad nonetheless, because they were never going to be able to make up.

 

Not after this.

 

You approached him slowly, internalling doubting yourself. Was this really the right thing to do? What if this was reality… what if Sans  _ was _ telling the truth? What if that kid really was a creep, capable of messing with your mind? What if you completely fucked up reality, and your own life, all because of this creepy fucking kid!

 

...But then what if it was all true. What if this was all fake, and you needed to do this to get better. What if you walked away from this and didn’t kill him, and you were stuck in your mind forever!? That was such a terrible life!

 

...You had to do this…

 

You couldn’t do this.

 

You  _ had _ to do this.

 

...But you couldn’t.

 

...Before you could fight with yourself any longer, you just forced yourself to stab him. 

 

You saw the look on his face. He looked so terrified, and confused, and even betrayed. You felt your entire body stiffen up as you pulled the knife out of his chest… and realized there was no blood on it. You were so confused for a second…

 

_...And then he turned to dust. _

 

...You fell to the ground on your knees next to the pile of dust, and vomited.

 

You felt tears well up in your eyes and spillover, as you stared down at the pile of vomit-covered-dust. You felt so fucking terrible… he had a  _ family. _ People who cared about him, and loved him…

 

_ But he didn’t, did he? Because you created him. Made him up in your mind. He wasn’t real. _

 

But what if he was?

 

_...He wasn’t. _

 

You stood up and took a few steps away from the puke, all while taking a few deep breaths and trying to justify this in your head. You weren’t a bad person… you just… you were getting rid of the problem. The problem was the people, and that wasn’t  _ your _ fault. You needed to dispose of the mess you made, and that didn’t make you a bad person! No, you were just… trying to go home.

 

And be normal, with your family.

 

You managed to relax a little bit, your breathing calming you down almost entirely… until you heard shouting.

 

You turned your head quickly, just in time to see Snowdrake’s dad walking towards the shop, calling out his name.

 

...You felt your sins crawling down your back.

 

You felt lucky that your vomit was covering the dust… easy clean up, and the dust could just float away with the wind when the time came. You were going to walk away scott free… and you really didn’t feel like you deserved that.

 

...Maybe you should just kill his dad, too? Get it over with?

 

…

 

Before you could make a decision, thankfully, he was already gone.

 

You took a few more deep breaths, and then started back towards Sans’s house. He had given you a key a while ago… so you used it to let yourself back in. He trusted you  _ so _ much… and here you were, completely betraying his trust, like the piece of shit you were. But then again, maybe you weren’t a bad person. Just doing what you had to, and destroying the bad parts of your mind.

 

Everything was fine.

 

You went inside and instantly washed off the knife before you even took your shoes off… there were small dust particles on it, and you wanted it to be clean before Papyrus got to it. You washed it three times before you finally dried it off and put it back where you found it, feeling a bit sick at the fact he would still be using that knife… but you couldn’t risk the questions if the knife disappeared.

 

You took your shoes off and went up the stairs before turning the shower on. You brushed your teeth first, and then took a long hot shower, making sure to scrub your entire body, thoroughly.

 

_ You felt so dirty. _

 

You made sure the water was scorching hot as you washed your hair, hoping maybe somehow if there were any dust particles you missed, maybe they would melt…

 

….Maybe.

 

You eventually finished up, but… you still felt so dirty. You couldn’t clean your insides.

 

You got dressed in some comfortable clothes and threw the dirty ones into the washer, along with some of Sans’s laundry, before curling up on the sofa, so it didn’t look suspicious. You hated the fact that you were still home alone… now you had nothing to distract your mind from telling you how fucked up you were.

 

You heard the front door open, and it took everything in you not to shoot up and scream. You looked over, half expecting Undyne to show up and take your soul, but… it was just Sans. He came home.

 

“...hey.” He greeted softly, before lifting your feet up and sitting next to you, and then gently placing them back down on his lap. You always loved that, when did it… now it felt strange to you. So fake… false.

 

“...Hi.” You greeted back, softly, trying to hide the fact you were internally freaking out. Hoping that just  _ one _ time, he wouldn't see past your wall.

 

“anything new?” He asked, clearly referring to your  _ “nightmare”, _ but you didn’t have anything to report.

 

_ Just the fact that you murdered somebody. _

 

“No… did you meet with your friend?”

 

“yeah.” He confirmed, gently starting to rub your legs the way he would whenever you would come home after a stressful day… guess the situation was fitting for it.

 

“What’d she say?”

 

“she’s gonna work on it. she thinks she knows a way to fix it.” He told you, and you weren’t sure whether he was lying to reassure you or not. You wouldn’t be surprised honestly, since he had lied to protect you before, in the past.

 

“...That’s great.” You said softly, knowing even if she did, it wouldn’t matter.

 

_ By the time she figured it out, everyone would be dead. _

 

“...you seem upset.” He pointed out, voice just as soft as yours, as he sat up a bit, to get a better look at you.

 

“...Just missed you.” You told him. It wasn’t technically a lie, because you really  _ had _ missed him. You moved to sit up, and gently leaned on him, wanting to feel his warmth.

 

He pulled you closer in a side hug, and nuzzled the top of your head. It was nice… made you feel like less of a terrible person. You felt like your sins were dying away almost, as he ran his phalanges through your hair, in a comforting, familiar way. Sans always had a way of making you feel better than you actually were… like any perfect boyfriend would. That would be amazing, if perfection didn’t mean fake.

 

“...you’re gonna be alright, y/n. i promise it’ll be okay.” He assured you, softly.

 

“...Thanks.” You said, softly, unable to even attempt to make yourself sound perky. You felt so  _ dead _ after what had happened… not to mention the fact you still felt so sick, and ready to vomit again.

 

He was silent as he looked at you, examining your face as if you were a puzzle he was trying to solve. You quickly pressed your lips against his mouth, and crawled into his lap, needing to distract him. The last thing you needed was for him to crack you and get you to tell him everything. If he found out you killed a kid…

 

…

 

You didn’t even wanna think about what would happen.

 

You felt him slide his hand down to your hips, where he gave a gentle squeeze to your hips. Honestly, you weren’t sure you were ever going to be able to kill him… he was the one person you knew you couldn’t hurt, and that scared you. What if the time came, and you couldn’t do it, and then you were stuck in a world where everyone was dead besides Sans, and he hated you?

 

That would be hell….

 

But then again, maybe your mind wouldn’t keep you locked away in hell.

 

“...you’re so beautiful.” He mumbled, against your neck as he kissed it.

 

You couldn’t help but moan, enjoying the way it felt… so gentle, and sincere. He let his hands wander upwards, and underneath your shirt, where they landed right below your breasts. You whined in the back of your throat when he didn't go higher, and he pulled away momentarily.

 

“...where’s pap?”

 

“...I don’t know.” You told him honestly, letting your hands go under  _ his _ shirt, where you gripped onto his ribs.

 

He shuddered a bit before speaking, “...he home?”

 

“I dunno? Maybe?”

 

Why did that matter? You just wanted him to fuck you!

 

“...let’s go upstairs.”

 

...You smiled softly, feeling slightly relieved. For some reason, you were expecting rejection, but no… he would never. He picked you up, and brought you up the stairs while you clung to him like he was a life raft. He still felt so much like safety, and smelled like it, too… it was something you really didn’t want to go away.

 

...But it had to, eventually. You were just delaying the inevitable.

 

...You fucked him again, for what you were pretty sure was the last time.

 

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


 

You fell asleep afterwards, and when you woke up, you were expecting to be in Sans arms, being enveloped by his warmth and scent, along with the smell of the new air freshener you had installed in the bedroom. Maybe even to Papyrus knocking on the door, informing you that he had made dinner, and it was family time. Or hell, maybe you would be woken up by Sans pouring cold water on your head, like that one time you refused to wake up from that good ass dream.

 

...But no.

 

You woke up back in the hospital bed, right next to your mother.

 

You couldn’t hold back the tears as they fell down your face, feeling incredibly stressed in this situation, and incredibly disappointed. You wanted to wake up to Sans’s snoring, and to be able to look at his sleeping face… it was always  _ so _ adorable, and innocent… something you wished to be.

 

You wanted Sans, so bad.

 

Your mother instantly wrapped her arms around you, and hugged you close. “Hey, shhh. It’s alright, sweetheart, you’re back out.”

 

...You wanted to go back in. You wanted to live in your head forever, if it meant you could be with Sans. But in the end, what good would it do?

 

It wasn’t real.

 

“...I-I killed one!” You exclaimed, unable to stop the sobs that were escaping you as you hugged your mother back, tightly. Your first instinct when you were a kid was to always cling to her… apparently it never went away.

 

“...Good! Good job, baby.” She praised you, so much happiness in her voice.

 

_ It made you sick to your stomach. _

 

“H-His dad was looking for him!”

 

“Shhh,” she shushed you softly, trying to be reassuring, “It’s your mind playing tricks on you, baby. It’s trying to make you feel guilty, but you’re doing so,  _ so _ good!”

 

You couldn’t stop sobbing, but… she was right. It made sense. You had  _ never _ seen Snowdrake’s dad go looking for him after a fight, unless… this had been a  _ really _ bad one. Maybe you were just… a really bad person, and took a life and made him die on terrible terms with his father.

 

“...Baby, you’re doing so well, but… I think you need to find somebody important next.” She told you, voice staying soft and reassuring, but you felt anything  _ but _ reassurance. You felt like you were in  _ hell. _ Being forced to kill everyone you loved, just so you could have a happy ending… you were  _ so _ selfish.

 

You looked at her, with pure horror on your face. You couldn’t believe she would even  _ ask _ something like that, and so soon!? You were hysterical over just killing a kid you barely even talked to, and she wanted you to kill somebody  _ important!? _

 

“...It’ll make it all go away faster, sweetheart.” She told you, clearly trying to soothe you after looking at your face.

 

...She was right though, despite how fucked up it was.

 

...When you thought about who it would hurt the least to kill, your mind went straight to Toriel. You went and you visited her sometimes, but… it wasn’t often, since she was so closed off from the rest of society. But when you were there, she always made you food, and she took care of you… even let you stay the night if you wished, because she was  _ so _ sweet… she didn’t deserve what was coming.

 

_ None of them deserved what was coming. _

 

“...T-Toriel.” You whispered softly, her name feeling like a sin in this world. Like something so sweet didn't belong here, where you lived in hell.

 

“...Toriel. Which one was that?”

 

...When you really thought about it, it made sense. Your mom wasn’t there with you, so… you made up this creature to take her place.

 

“...One who helped me in the ruins. At the start.”

 

“Ah. The replacement mom.” She said, nonchalantly. You were glad it didn’t hurt her feelings, but… you knew it was probably because your mom and Toriel held so much in common. It was like she held a place in your imagination.

 

“...Yeah.” You confirmed softly, still feeling a bit bad. You just hoped she didn’t think you were  _ really _ trying to replace her.

 

She pet your hair gently, and gave you her signature smile. “Good choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any predictions?
> 
>  [Like what I do? Buy me a coffee!](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/kVKqexW4v)
> 
> [My Tumblr. I do head canons and junk.](https://skelesansation.tumblr.com/)


	5. Pie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toriel was a good sacrifice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Gore level: Med**
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> **Kill count: 2**

You knew what you had to do next.

 

Sans had work the next day, after you had...  _ killed  _ Snowdrake. You knew that was a perfect opportunity to slip out and go ‘visit’ Toriel. The only problem was… you didn’t want to hurt her. She was the one who helped prepare you for all of this, at the beginning. When you first fell down here, or…  _ first started to hallucinate _ , she was the one who cared for you, and fed you, and protected you. Were you really going to be able to hurt somebody who meant  _ that _ much to you?

 

...Apparently you were going to find out.

 

Sans kissed you that morning, and said he would text you when he had his break. You gave him a smile and he left… so you prepared yourself. You took a long, hot shower, and cried until you couldn’t cry anymore. You hadn’t even done anything, yet… but the thought alone of killing Toriel, was just too much for you to handle.

 

This was going to fuck you up forever

 

You got yourself ready, dressed in sweatpants and a comfortable t-shirt, which you were pretty sure belonged to Sans, and put on your boots before leaving the house. You locked the door, not wanting anybody to break in, and went on your way to Toriels.

 

...But unfortunately, you got side tracked when you realized Sans was working at the station right by her home. Normally he would be asleep, and you would be able to just walk right by him, but… he was wide awake, on his phone, drinking ketchup. It used to make you cringe so much when you saw him do that, but… now it was so  _ him _ that it was  _ cute. _

 

“...Hey.” You greeted him, as you walked closer. You already felt guilty, even though you hadn’t  _ done _ anything yet… the thought in your mind that it was going to happen made you feel so awful.

 

“...hey.” He greeted you back, with his signature lazy smile that always made you feel so safe. So happy. Like you were home, without actually having to  _ be _ at home.

 

“...Any dangerous human walk through here?”

 

_ Besides you. _

 

He chuckled softly. “nope. not yet.”

 

You sighed softly when he reached over his station and put his hands into your pockets, before gently pulling you to him so he could give you a soft kiss. You leaned into it instantly, wanting to feel like a good person for at least half a second.

 

After a moment, he pulled back with his signature smile, and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek before letting go.

 

“where ya goin’?” He asked you, as he released his hold on your sweater and leaned back, once again.

 

“...Gonna visit Toriel.” You told him, hoping your guilt didn’t come out with your words.

 

He chuckled softly, once again, before speaking. “tell her i said hi… and bring back some pie.”

 

You gave him a smile of your own as you looked at his. It was so genuine whenever he looked at you… so full of love and admiration. It used to make you feel special and important… but now it just made you feel like scum because you didn’t deserve it.

 

“I will.” You promised him, before leaning towards him and giving him a soft kiss of your own, which he instantly returned, eagerly.

 

You stepped back after, and he watched you go for a few steps before he laid his head down on the counter and closed his eyes. You looked back as you walked, over your shoulder, and couldn’t prevent the tears starting to well up in your eyes. You quickly wiped them, and kept going. It was too late to turn back, now.

 

There was no way for you to explain what you were, other than a traitor. These people all took care of you and loved you unconditionally, with the acception of Undyne, and you hadn’t even thought of going after her yet, and still here you were. Killing off the people who showed you so much kindness and care.

 

You were  _ scum. _

 

As you walked towards the big door at the entrance of Snowdin, you could feel your stomach turning, and your saliva feel warmer as you started to feel nauseous.  You were completely disgusting, and you were the one who deserved death after everything you had done. All of these people were so much better than you, and you would much rather kill yourself than ever hurt them…

 

If it weren’t were the fact that they were made up.

 

You reached the door finally, after a good five minute walk. Sans was officially out of sight, and you could already feel your sins crawling on your back again. It was almost unbearable at this point, and you hadn't even hurt Toriel yet.

 

You couldn’t even begin to imagine how it would feel, after that.

 

You knocked on the door firmly, waiting a good five minutes before knocking a second time, which is when you finally got an answer.

 

“Who’s there?” Came Toriel's familiar voice, from the other side of the door. It sent shivers down your spine, when you realized this was going to be the last time you ever heard it.

 

You could have put a stop to it. Could have just turned around, and went home.

 

...But then what? You stay stuck here, forever?

 

...You couldn’t do that.

 

“...Noki.” You responded, used to responding with knock knock jokes when it came to Toriel.

 

“Noki who?”

 

“There’s no key for this door… no lock either.” You finished your joke, with your hands in your pockets. It was lame, but it was the best you had. You didn't have your mind set on jokes, in the moment.

 

Despite the joke not even being  _ remotely _ funny, Toriel started howling with laughter. Her laugh sent a wave of comfort down your spine as it echoed through your ears, loudly. It was the single most beautiful thing in the world you could think of right there in that moment, and it made you feel so  _ shitty _ knowing you would never hear it again.

 

_ I’m so sorry, mom. _

 

After she managed to calm down a bit, the doors opened for you, widely, like an old friend opening their arms for a hug. You walked in slowly, trying to take your time with each move you made, as to prolong this entire visit so she didn’t have to die  _ so _ soon.

 

She deserved better than this.

 

Better than  _ you. _

 

As soon as you walked in fully, the doors closed behind you tightly, securely so that nobody could get in. You found it ironic that the only danger was already there, in the room.

 

Because you were a terrible person.

 

Toriel enveloped you in a hug quickly, the second the doors were closed, and greeted you, teary eyed.

 

“Hello, my child.” She said, nuzzling the top of your head, slightly. You hadn’t seen her in a few weeks, and apparently that really affected her. You had felt bad for it, and now you felt even worse, considering your intentions for visiting weren’t exactly pure.

 

“...Hey, mom.” you greeted her back, returning the hug gently. She was so warm and soft, and comforting on the highest level. Her smell was nostalgic, and her voice was like a safe haven.

 

“Are you hungry?” She asked you, as she pet your hair, lovingly. Something she always did, whenever you would come to visit.

 

“...Y-Yeah. Could… I have some pie?” You asked, softly, knowing this would be the last time you ever got to properly taste it. She tried to teach you how to make it yourself, once, but… it didn’t turn out the same.

 

“Of course.” She assured you, before letting go, gently. She seemed almost reluctant, but she managed just fine. 

 

You followed her as she led you up the stairs to her small house, making sure to memorize everything as you walked through. You weren’t going to be able to come back, so… you had to get it all out of your system while you still could. When you walked into the kitchen, the scent of a pie in the oven hit you instantly, making some of your anxieties and fears go away. It was such a beautiful smell, and you felt tears well up in your eyes at the thought of never eating it again.

 

You watched as Toriel started to cut up a bar of chocolate to make a chocolate drizzle, and you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around her from behind. You could feel your heart slowly breaking as this all played out. You didn’t deserve the pie she was making. You didn’t deserve to be in her house. Hell, you didn’t even deserve to  _ know _ her or have her in your life at all.

 

...If she were real, she would have been your dream mom.

 

...Because she _ was _ your dream mom.

 

You felt her turn around quickly and wrap her arms around you. She was  _ so _ soft and warm, still, especially with being so close to the oven. She was beautiful, and she was the first person to take care of you when you needed help, so  _ why… _

 

Why couldn’t she be real!?

 

“...Are you alright, my child?” She asked you, sounding so concerned for you that it made you feel nauseous. Here she was, so worried about you, and all you had on your mind was how you were going to kill her.

 

It wasn’t fair.

 

“...Not been… feeling too good, lately.” You admitted to her, technically telling the truth. You had felt like shit the past week, because now you were coming to terms with the fact that you were crazy, and that you had to kill the people you loved the most in the entire world, just so you could be  _ sane!? _

 

Just doing this was driving you insane!

 

You almost flinched as she lifted her hand, half expecting her to slap the shit out of you, but relaxed pretty easily when she placed her fluffy hand against your forehead.

 

“...You don’t feel warm.” She said, sounding a bit relieved.

 

“...I’ll tell you about it after the pie.” You assured her, before looking at the oven.

 

“Alright. Would you like to bring some back with you?” She offered, just like she did every single time you came over.

 

Because she was a sweetheart.

 

“Yes please… and Sans says hi.” You told her, remembering that Sans wanted you to greet her for him. You felt so bad that they would never see eachother again, and they wouldn’t be able to exchange sitty knock knock jokes anymore.

 

“Oh, yes! Tell him I said hello!” She said happily, like she always was whenever Sans was mentioned. You found it simultaneously adorable and weird how close your boyfriend was to your ‘mother’.

 

You watched as she turned around and shut off the oven, before pulling the pie out and setting it on the stove top, by the chocolate drizzle, so it could cool down. But Toriel being as impatient as she was, cut into the pie almost instantly after she set it down. She put two pieces onto plates before drizzling them both with the chocolate sauce she had made, and then set them down on the table. They looked delicious… but…

 

While she was distracted, you stole one of her big cutting knives, and hid it behind your back, tucked away under your shirt.

 

“...Can I have another hug?” You asked her, as she turned back around to look at you, a bright, cheery smile on her face.

 

You were going to ruin it.

 

Her smile grew warmer as she enveloped you in another hug. 

 

...You reached behind your back with one hand, and slowly drew the knife out, while your other hand held onto her in a gentle hug.

 

“...I-I’m so sorry.” You whispered softly, and before she could pull back to check on you, you stuck the knife straight through her chest.

 

She screamed instantly, and it felt like you were being stabbed in the ears. It was loud, and shrill and super high pitched, and you felt so  _ sick. _ She pushed you away harshly, and you yelped as you almost fell on your ass. But you forced yourself to shut up.

 

You didn’t deserve to complain.

 

You ran at her again, and stabbed her once more, feeling terrible that she was putting up such a fight. It just made you feel all that much worse. When you killed froggit, he went down instantly after one stab, but Toriel was so much stronger…

 

But she would never fight back.

 

She screamed again, and started to sob, completely breaking your heart.

 

Why were you such a bad person?   
  
“...M-My child!? What-!” She exclaimed, sounding so  _ panicked and confused, _ but you showed her no mercy, unlike what she had shown you.

 

You stabbed her one more time, and she fell to her knees.

 

She started to cough, and you felt awful as you watched her fall to the floor completely. She stared up at you with a confused and terrified expression, only adding to your guilt, as you watched her turn to dust, completely.

 

...You felt numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr. I do head canons and junk.](https://skelesansation.tumblr.com/)


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